UNNECESSARY EXPENSE OVER MARRIAGES

Hello all,

Marriage is a social contract that brings two people together. It is a beautiful feeling and experience to enjoy the company of a new person in a romantic and loving environment. In Pakistan and India, most people used to raise this topic and make fun of it by telling jokes on this topic or by making plans with their children since childhood. For most girls in remote areas, the favorite activity is to make arrangements for their doll’s marriage. The reason for all this is just to make them more curious about this relationship. That is why this day becomes very memorable and full of excitement for all. Brides and grooms wish to make this day so special that it will remain in their memories as a mark of joy.

In our society, the tradition of “Salami” by relatives is very popular. It is a contribution to the parents of the bride and groom to make arrangements for the marriage. This “Salami” is according to the bonding of the relationship; the closer you are, the more you have to do. It could be in the form of money, dress, gift, or household item for the brides and money or gift for the groom. On the other hand, it was refunded with some extra when the other’s marriage took place. The extra was once called “Nee-on-dra”; it was to strengthen the relationship. If you do not want to go further with anybody, then pay back only what you received. It was a silent and expressive way of cutting off.  It sounds weird, but it was very good when it was performed in a simple way. But now, like other traditions, this has also changed a lot.

Marriages have now become a good way to show off and to depict one’s power of social contact and economic strength. People have no more concern with small “Salami”; they just want to invite their big contacts so that they can influence others. Huge parties are being thrown for publicity. A lot of money is spent extravagantly on food, clothes, decoration, music, lights, fireworks, photography, recording, and transportation. People book good venues for marriage, arranging marriage halls and gardens. But this is not enough; this marquee, hall, or garden should be renowned or famous among elites so that every participant can be impressed. Therefore, they hire professionals for new ideas and approaches.

This trend is spreading all over the world; event management is a growing profession among youngsters. They know that people are keen to spend on such social occasions. Once, it was an event of two to three days, but now it has turned into months. Prior and after functions have been created for enjoyment, such as Bridal Shower, Bachelor Party, Dholki (This one is the longest in days), Mayon, Ubtan, Mehndi, Wedding, Walima, and so many receptions. Event managers are giving different themes to each function. From the dress to the surroundings, everything is planned earlier.

In India, a bride is supposed to be a girl covered with gold jewelry, and her parent is believed to be Aladdin’s Genie who will fulfill each and every demand of the groom’s family. From start to end, the bride’s family has to suffer a lot and bear most of the expenses, even for the other side. The bride is also not treated well, even with a huge dowry in the shape of dresses, furniture, car/bike, utensils, and other household items. Moreover, taking in a bride along with a demanded amount has also become a tradition. It is said that it is a gift from a girl’s parents, while everybody knows well that it is a forceful act. Gifts of new houses or furnished ones is also in demand, while after marriage demands are separate to be mentioned.

No doubt, it brings so many colors to this occasion, but only to those who have many resources. People living in the middle standard always imitate elites or the upper class. For this, they cross every limit, whether it is to borrow money from anyone or to pledge their properties for loans. In a mediocre family, there is little to earn and many to eat, so they hardly manage to cope with all responsibilities. Many people try to use unfair means to get extra money for their needs, which promotes negativity in society.

According to me, people having good resources and at the upper level should take incentives and come forward to be role models for others to simplify this event. There is obviously no need to feed so many people. It is totally a private function, and its requirement is just an announcement that these are two people who decided to live together. For this matter, a small gathering of relatives is quite enough. It will be a blessing for those who are suffering from the fears of this forced extravagance in their life.

Need more good suggestions in this regard and hoping for a positive change……

Best regards.